A few items to cover first. I know many might be appalled by the Frankenstein head. Here is the thing, wrapping your mind around being transgender is really a mind fuck. Now, society only see’s the “gender – benders” or the “tranny’s” most people see us (ftms – mtfs or any non-conforming individuals) as “freaks.” Personally, I want to shatter that illusion. I want to go stealth then come out and say “This is me. I’m not different then the next guy. Well, except I believe in hygiene and sanitation. But i’m still just another guy despite what sits below my belt.” I’m embracing myself for who I am. Not for what society see’s me as, in fact Frankenstein fits perfectly. If you’ve ever read the novel by Shelly, then you’d know he was a gentle man. A misunderstood man that looked different then the “norm” and was instantly hated because of that. All he wanted was love and support. If that shouldn’t be this pages mascot then I really don’t know what does. Anyway, onto the show…
This is officially post number 1 following my changes and experiences as a transman.
On September 06, 2012 I had my first injection (.25 ml) of T.
(*note, I’ll go over some basic terms I use frequently in a bit)
The first 24 hours found me with an anxious restless feeling that did not go away until week 2. Oddly enough this was also when my period decided to visit. For those of you with little to know knowledge on how Testosterone works, it is not a cure-all. In fact it is the opposite starting out. It was slightly distressing and annoying. However, my period only lasted for three days (which is unheard of for me). Since then I have not had it, but there is always a chance of receiving it.
After week 2 I started going to the gym. I’ve been making an attempt to go every day. I’ve refrained from weights, and will continue to only do cardio until my heart is in good condition. I’ve all but cut out grain from my diet and am eating a ton of fruits and veggies. I will not lie, it has been a challenge. I’ve lost about 14 pds since my T-day.
Also, since September, my little guy down there has grown remarkably fast while my voice remains unchanged, my throat is beginning to feel raspy and dry.
Some new physical things I’m grappling with is this insane thirst. I’m drinking a ton of water but can’t seem to hydrate. On that same note, I find myself sweating all the time- from places I didn’t even think could sweat. Anyway, I’ve also found this need to stretch BIG TIME. Every few hours I feel my muscles cramping up. Not plesent when you work in public safety.
Oh yes! On week 3 I came out to my bosses. Well, formally anyway. None were shocked, and they all said to let them know how they can support me in my transition. Even verbally expressing their gratitude for my hard work. They told me that I can work for them as long as I want- they did not care that I was transitioning but had been extremely grateful for the advanced notice before I needed to “start shaving.”
Mentally through all of these changes, I find myself way more at ease. I feel content in a really indescribably way. Sometimes, I find that emotion has all but left me. (if that makes any sense). I haven’t been able to cry, just tear up a little. Anger, frustration, happiness, hornyness, and calm make up the bulk of my feelings these days.
Here are some terms I’ll be using frequently:
Transgender – Identifies someone who do not fit into the gender spectrum traditionally from birth.
T = Inject-able testosterone
T-day – Anniversary of my first injection
Transman- Transgendered male identified individual
FTM – Female – to – Male, see transgender or transman
Transition – In this sense used to describe the physical and mental “transition” through the use of hormones and eventual surgery
All in all everything has been running great with the support of my loving wife and amazing bosses. Until next time!